For the sake of updating

Well, for the sake of updating... that seems to be all I'm coming up with. Have you ever stopped to contemplate the phenomenon of thoughts or lack thereof? I mean seriously, can anyone number the thoughts a person has in a day? Or answer the questions and longings of one's heart? Can a person not think something and where do the thoughts so undesired appear from? And on that note what of dreams? Is it something we eat, or watch before bed, or the deepest intents of the heart, or are all dreams God given or does He use the dreams of our leftover meatloaf? hmm... If I have said it once I have said it a million time, "Life is a complex coil of chaos and questions."

There are so many questions that remain unanswered. There will always be things we as finite humans, mere creations, will never understand. But as creations we can look to the Creator, our Creator, and follow His leading. Listening to His voice, obeying His commands, searching out how high and how wide and how deep His love for us is. Then one day, when all this passes away, we will see Him in full, in all His glory and splendor and the questions that occupied our minds before will fall flat before Him and the only question on our mind is how long is eternity.... because it'll never be long enough! :) God bless you all!!

In Christ Alone,

~Ilene Rose

This is your life...

So I'm sitting up, it's 1:21AM and I've got lots of thoughts running thought my mind. I know, I'm already off to a bad start. haha... Thoughts seemed to get backed up in my mind, like there is a small passage for them to filter though and after so long everything comes to an abrupt stop when everything plugs the filter. Why am I telling you this? Because, I know I'm probably not the only person that has issues going in and around my life.

Bills, relationships, future, hopes, dreams, disappointments, the list is never-ending. There is one thing that in the midst of the world-wind around me though that I seem to always look to, almost to see if somehow it would have changed, is God. And once again, I'm overcome with the peace of knowing Him and the consistency that He has holds over my life and not only my life but my future and then entire world! I am reminded that once again, He is great and I am small. He is the potter and I am the clay. He is the Creator and I, the creation. He is the author and I am His story. Nothing that happens in my life surprises Him but He knew and knows everything will happen. He has searched me and He knows me. He knows when I lay down and when I rise. He knows when I am rejoice and when I mourn. If the Father knows me and every hair upon my head, and knows the plans of good things He has for me, then what do I have to fear?

I know there are many things in my life I can do nothing about but I know that God knows everyone of them and He has already answered them. So right now I want to believe God and thank Him in advance for helping me get out of debt. I want to thank God for the ministry He is going to place me in and for the ministry I am in right now everyday. I want to thank God for my family and friends. I want to thank God for the amazing man of God that He has for me and that he will find me in God's timing. I want to thank God for His unswerving devotion to me. And I want to thank God for helping me be as unyielding to Him as He is towards me. :) Amen!!

So yes, this was a lot of mumbo-jumbo but it was all from my heart. There are a lot of unanswered questions but for now I think I'm okay with not knowing. As long as I know God knows. ;) God bless everyone!!

The Melody Within

Did I not say that I was terrible at journeling? Ok, I do not feel so terribly wicked then. Well, the last time I blogged I was entering my senior year at college. Suprise. I have since then Not only graduated but was one of ten students in my graduating class enducted into the Elim Fellowship 'assembly' and I am a credential holder through them. What a blessing, honor, responsibilty, and humbling experience. God has been doing a lot of cleaning and changes in my life. I'm working fulltime at a job that I'm under high amounts of stress constantly and am losing weight. I am leading worship at my church, teaching piano lessons, organizing and putting on a talent show at my church amd am in charge of the children's Christmas choir. but none of these things is what I wish to speak to you about. I wish to tell you a story. This story is a song about a melody. A melody locked deep within the recesses of the heart. A musicbox within. You cannot hear the music till you open the musicbox and hear the music fill the air. "There was a melody, locked deep inside of me but now it's free, it found a place embraced by harmony, sweet harmony. Love more then anything, teaches our hearts to sing. Only love can break the spell. Now I know very well, the love within myself."
Everone has a melody, a musicbox within themselves that God has placed there. We cannot see it or touch but when we look deep within and open the musicbox we see and can hear the beautiful song within. God has designed each one of us with a song of our own that only we possess. Others may try to imitate our song but no one can match it and without our song the world would be incomplete. Love teaches us the song of our heart. It brings us to life and in a sense as the song says "breaks the spell". There is no magic, no enchanted spell, there is only a fallen world in need of hope, love, and the love story of our Savior. Share the story, share the song, the melody within. Break the spell and discover the love within yourself. God bless!

John 15:12-13, "My command is this, Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no man then this; that he lay down his life for his friends."

Senioritice

Well... I realized that I'm really not very good at this whole blogging thing, but I'm hoping to get better at it. We'll see. ;)
Well, I'm back at college and I'm a Senior. *pausing for a moment to take that in* I still cannot believe how far I've come and how far I still have yet to go. I think of Phil. 3 where Paul's talking about pressing on towards the goal to win the prize. I have never given it much thought but consistently throughout my life the one thing that's kept me moving forward has been the ever-present, ever-glorious, prize set before my eyes. Not that I am perfect but that I press on in spite of myself knowing that nothing this world holds, holds a candle to the glory that shall be revealed!! This revelation of Christ keeps me pressing on... to Him. So, he although I've been through the fire... I have not been burned, and though I've been been through the storm.... I have stood firm and someday I will see Jesus face-to-face and I'll forever be in His presence worshiping Him who is worth forever and ever!! Amen!!

Pause to Ponder

Today has been one of those days. You know the ones I speak of, the ones that start impossibly early and drag right from the get go. The ones that no matter how hard and fast and furious you work... nothing seems to be getting accomplished. But then I paused for a moment and thought about what all this was for - the jobs, the obligations, the deadlines, and endless lists of chores to do. I then realized or should say was reawakened the the revelation that everything I do is setting up my life before my eyes. The administration I find myself wading in, the dictating, the working, the submitting, even the mistakes I make and am learning from... they all are preparing me for my life. I'm at present completing my senior internship for college and in every detail, vast and menial, is preparing me in some way, shape, or form for all that God has prepared for me to do. There are no words, for I cannot see what the future holds, but yet I look to the horizon and to the destiny God has for me and know that I will not be disappointed. There is much on my heart and present on my mind but I will not but pray these things into exsistence and have fun along the way! :) God bless and enjoy the ride!!

A Clean Slate

A clean slate.

A fresh start.

A new page.

And a new heart.

A new outlook,

On a new chance at life.

A fresh beginning,

All opens tonight.

I cannot express

This presence I feel

But hold it out

For the world to reveal.

For alone I chose my life to be

For I thought no one cared to care about me

Until just today did I first step out

And place myself in a vunerable state and shatter my world of doubt.

I chose to be a friend though no friend was found

And in the least likely of places I was not let down.

People have hurt me time and again

They've lied and they cheated and taunted my name.

I've been beaten and bruised and broken and bossed

I've been kicked and trampled and scarred me and mocked

But something inside was still crying for friends

I was sick of loneliness and self-defense

I need someone though I said I did not

And it took all I lost to see all I've got.

Thank you to all who I am so blessed to call friend!

~Ilene Rose